How on earth do people ever decide where to move when the world is your oyster? Choosing the place that you’ll call home truly affects every aspect of your life: how often you’ll see family and friends, what job opportunities you’ll have, what you’ll do for entertainment, how much money you’ll be able to put away for retirement, and so. much. more. Perhaps that’s why I’ve been dragging my heels, but the clock is literally ticking down to June 30 when my Italian visa will expire.
If you don’t follow us on Facebook (um, why the heck not? Get over there and give us a like!), then you have no idea what I’m rambling on about. I’ve hinted at an impending move a few times now and inquiring minds want to know. So since I recognize all the same signs of freaking out – crying, mood swings, completely stressed out and worried beyond belief – like I did when we moved to Italy seven years ago, I thought dishing it out might be cathartic and you loyal readers could help me decide where the right place to go is.
That pesky day job Tim has is taking him to South Korea for a year and the fur kids and I can’t go. Emma, Angel and I need to find a new place to call home for a year-ish. And no, I have absolutely zero desire to stay in Italy.
Oddly, I spent years wishing, hoping and dreaming of living in Italy. And it was a wonderful experience…mostly. But for the last year or so, I’ve just become tired. The things we Americans take for granted everyday that are so easy back home are often the most frustrating parts of living in Italy. Things like paying the internet bill, which you can do with a click of button in your online bill pay at home in the US, leave me feeling like I’ve just limped out of a battle. Or my recent fiasco with the pharmacist over Angel’s medication simply because the pharmacist doesn’t speak any English and asking how refills work isn’t in my Italian vocabulary.
Traveling in Italy and living in Italy are so not the same thing.
So sometime in June I’ll leave Italy. That’s not to say I won’t still travel here, but I won’t call Italia home any longer. Where am I going, you ask? That’s a really, really good question.
I’ve lived in Italy for seven years now and it is home, currently. I left the childhood home I grew up in 16 years ago, when I moved away to college in Las Vegas. That’s half of my entire lifetime ago! Sorry Mom and Dad, America’s snowiest city has little appeal, even if you do still live there. Cleveland Hopkins International Airport is just too far a drive to make as often as I travel as professional travel writer and I can’t risk not being able to “get to work” (aka catch a flight to a project) because I’m snowed in.
Phoenix
Ruling out my childhood home, if I were to return to the US I guess Phoenix, Arizona makes the most sense. I have two close friends and a handful of others I’ve seen regularly since I made regular trips to Phoenix when I was telecommuting to my university job. Familiarity and some friendships have a ton of appeal, particularly after I spent the last year feeling the loneliest I’ve ever felt in my entire life with Tim away for six months.
There’s a lot to do right there in Phoenix when I’m not traveling. I wasn’t travel writing when we lived there, so while we’ve written a few things like the 10 Best Things to Do in Summer in Arizona and the Top 10 Arizona Hikes, it would give me the opportunity to bring you guys all new content from Phoenix and Arizona. I might also have more opportunities for projects in the US if I were actually based in the US, so I could write about a lot more trip ideas right within our own borders.
Or…
Bordeaux
Last spring I was invited on a Viking River Cruises Bordeaux cruise and the city of Bordeaux was like love at first sight. It’s a bit like Paris, but smaller. On the perpetual search for where Tim and I will someday choose to live, I did think Bordeaux could maybe be that place.
I’ve contacted a realtor about finding an apartment, since a rental contract is just one of the things in a mountain of paperwork I need to apply for a French visa. And Tim and I have been looking at apartments online now for a few months. I can get a 1-bedroom in the center for far less than I’d be paying in the US.
If I do move to Bordeaux, I don’t want the apartment I’ll need to furnish to be one very expensive storage locker for my stuff. I envision spending the majority of my year actually discovering Bordeaux, both the city and the wine region. I know I’ll be visiting Tim in South Korea and opportunities always come up, but I’d be scaling back the international travel in order to focus on my new home and more travel within France. I’ve even already got some ideas (aspirations) to turn the year into a book.
Maybe a book that is part travel memoir and part guide book with a focus on wine tourism? Titles have been running through my head. Bordeaux in 365 Bottles…or something like that. There are 65 different appellations and over 7000 wineries in Bordeaux and plenty of bucket list ways to discover them like touring in true French style on a French classic car tour or biking through the hilly vineyards around Saint-Emilion.
I’ve also been toying with taking classes to get my sommelier certification, essentially to up my ante when it comes to wine writing and for personal growth and ongoing education. The École du Vin de Bordeaux offers seminars (in English) so I could get an idea if I’m truly interested in pursuing an education in wine before I make such a costly investment in wine school. At the very least, the courses in oenotourism should benefit me and you, since this website incorporates wine tourism in to just about every destination we partner with.
I’m Scared of Making the Wrong Decision…
I haven’t actually made a decision to pick up and move since I chose a college. After I chose UNLV and living in Las Vegas, life (Tim’s job) has just sort of carried me to Phoenix and then to Italy. I made both of those work because I didn’t have a choice about living in those places.
Having a girlfriend to grab dinner with and just have some girl talk is important to me. It wasn’t easy, but I eventually made friends in Phoenix mostly from when I started a book club on Craigslist that really just turned in to a drink wine and chat club. I never really did make friends here in Italy, though, and it’s often just been incredibly lonely. What if I choose Bordeaux and I don’t make friends there either?
Aside from that, I’m mostly worried about how the decision affects this blog. Which decision is the right one for our readers? Which decision will afford the most work opportunities? Which one will help grow this blog to the next level? After all, I quit my job to turn this blog in to a business.
So help me choose! I really want to hear from you. Leave a comment and tell me if I should choose Bordeaux or Phoenix.
Marlene says
We think Phoenix should be your choice. Not only do you have friends there but family also. Since life has been loney since in Italy we think that’s a big consideration. There are plenty of places in the US to explore and write about. Hope this helps you decide
Carina says
I\’d say somewhere like Thailand or something, I can\’t imagine flying all the way from the US or France to South Korea regularly (or making my husband do the same). I\’ve heard Thailand and Vietnam both have great expat communities, and the prices are super cheap.
Jennifer Dombrowski says
Thanks for the suggestion, Carina! I have zero desire to live in Thailand or Vietnam and even less desire to move two pets on an airplane again, let alone that far by myself. It will either be Bordeaux or Phoenix since I can see both of those places feeling like home.
Tim says
I’ve spent a lot of time in Phoenix and there is a lot to do, but I can’t imagine passing up an opportunity to live in Bordeaux, especially for a oenophile like yourself!
Jennifer Dombrowski says
The wine…and cheese…and macarons… Le sigh. It is hard to pass up.
Jeannie says
I vote for Bordeaux. It would be a great time for you to scope it out for a year to see if it really would be THE PLACE that you, Tim, Angel and Emma would like to put down roots.
Jennifer Dombrowski says
That’s what Tim says too. In theory, we love living in Europe. But living in Europe without the support and services offered by Tim’s job is a very different animal. He thinks this is a good opportunity to see what living in Europe unsupported is really like.
Jeannie says
We lived in Germany for 3 1/2 years and now in Italy (only 3 months so far) without base support. There are challenges (like you have to learn the language), but it can be done. It is so rewarding and we wouldn’t change it for anything. Give it a shot, what do you have to lose?
Jennifer Dombrowski says
I know. We know loads and loads of expats that just live in another country because they want to.
It’s just very different. When you have the support and services available that we do, life is easy-peasy. My expat friend who used to live in Venice and is now back in NYC would have killed for how easy we actually have it living in Italy in the situation that we do.
Jeannie says
I vote for Bordeaux. It would be a great place to check out for a year to see if it really is THE PLACE that you, Tim, Angel and Emma could see yourselves planting roots.
Susan Roberts says
I do appreciate there is a very different way of doing things in Italy than in US. I lived for 12 years in Phoenix but now live in Portland. Moving to a city so big like Phoenix after Italy will be a culture shock unto itself. You may come to appreciate the Italian things that bother you now. I understand the family and friends draw too. Bordeaux must have a large ex pat community and I am sure that you would be able to make friends there. Not to go down the rabbit hole, but the current state of politics and division in the US is reason enough to seriously consider France. Even if you are not a political person, you cannot escape it. Sounds like you have a lot of ideas for writing on French subjects. I vote for Bordeaux and the area you are interested in perhaps settling later for good.
Jennifer Dombrowski says
I don’t think I’ll ever appreciate running around to several banks to see which one hasn’t just shut down due to the financial crisis since yesterday to get cash and then dashing in to the Post Office to stand in line for an hour or more to pay the internet bill. But there are loads of European things I will miss if I do move back to the US.
I was recently in Montana and even that was culture shock. I couldn’t believe the prices at the grocery store! A baguette in the bakery was $4.99 and I only pay €1 at most for a freshly baked one. I’d miss being able to go to another country for the day just because. In the US driving across one State could be like driving across the whole of Western Europe. And the sticker shock for the price, or even a glass, of wine.
Bordeaux does have a large expat community and they have a lot of events to get expats out and about. I made a friend, another American, when I was there last spring and we’ve kept in close touch. Plus I have other very good friends in France, like Leah Travels who is living in Paris and Women on the Road who lives near Annecy.
Katherine Belarmino says
While I really want to vote for Bordeaux, I am leaning towards Phoenix. I think it would do you well mentally and emotionally to go the “easy” route for a year and have a network of friends close to you while Tim is gone. I think it will also make your next move, together, less scary. It will kind of be a vacation for your brain. But I think whichever one you end up choosing means it is the right choice for you.
Jennifer Dombrowski says
I’m the type that can’t shut off the worrying and just relax. I think no matter where I end up, I’ll be worrying about one thing or another.
Erin says
You know whichever spot you choose, I\’ll be coming to visit you! 🙂 I can see some benefits for moving back to the US, but the allure of living in French wine country is hard to ignore. I will say one thing I\’ve noticed is the ridiculous airfare from Europe to parts of Asia. Most of my regular jaunts to places like HK, Japan, and Taiwan are half the cost when I\’m flying from the US versus Europe. I go back and forth on being back in the US from a standpoint of working with tourism boards, etc. Sometimes I feel like I\’ve missed out on a lot because of the places I\’ve chosen to base myself. Keep me updated!!!
Jennifer Dombrowski says
We have been looking at flights to Seoul from Paris and Phoenix for months now. I could fly to Seoul three times round trip for what it costs for one round trip ticket from Phoenix. And it’s non-stop from Paris and only a 10 hour flight. From a financial aspect, France wins in every way.
I also feel like the US isn’t as forward thinking when it comes to paying professional bloggers for their work. There seem to be more press trip opportunities popping up in the US, but none are paid campaigns. If I was a nomad blogger, I could live off of hotel stays and press trips in exchange for writing about them. But I’m not nomadic, have no intention of being nomadic and something has to pay for the apartment, car and car insurance I’m going to need to live in the US. I also want to curl into a ball and cry when I think about the cost of electric bills in Arizona, thanks to the monopoly the power company has.
Susan Paterson says
I would choose Phoenix if I were you. You’ve already spent a year feeling a bit lonely, do want to chance that happening again? I haven’t been to France, so I can’t comment on how friendly or welcoming the French people are, though. I’m sure whatever choice you make will be the right one for you x
Jennifer Dombrowski says
I could be lonely in Phoenix too, though. My two friends both have young children and jobs, so they’re quite busy. Why is life such a gamble?
Kristin says
I mean, it sounds like you’ve actually made up your mind here.
So. See you in Bordeaux? 😉
Jennifer Dombrowski says
I know, I think I kind of have. A least the scale is severely tipping in one direction. I intend to have plenty of room for visitors!
Victoria says
I say Bordeaux! You know you can always come back to the states. If you have the opportunity to live in France, take it!
Jennifer Dombrowski says
True, the only thing that really stands between just picking up and moving back to the US is a plane ticket.
Leah says
Bordeaux…it will be like I have a country house and you have a city apartment in Paris. Vive la France!
Jennifer Dombrowski says
<3 Can't argue with that logic!
Leyla Giray Alyanak says
Of course I would say Bordeaux… I’m a quick Easyjet flight away, about $50 round-trip… I don’t know Bordeaux, and you could have a ‘countryside’ retreat…
Jennifer Dombrowski says
And you’re 13 minutes closer driving since I’d likely need to come with my fur entourage! 😉
Tiffany says
After rocking the block in Italy, which is more than challenging, why NOT Bordeaux? It’s only one year… And nobody wants to be that sweet old lady telling her “what-if” story! Go for it!
Jennifer Dombrowski says
I definitely don’t want to be living with a what if. I’m going for it!
Heather says
France! I spent a year in the US between Shanghai and Riga and that was more than enough for me. I hated having to drive everywhere and paying ridiculous grocery prices for food that doesn’t even taste like it should. It’s better to live someplace fabulous and have your American friends and relatives come to visit 🙂
Jennifer Dombrowski says
The grocery store! I had total sticker shock at the prices for things in the grocery stores when I was in Montana a few weeks ago. I think it would take me a year to recover from the culture shock of moving back to the US after living in Europe for so long.
Jenny says
I’ve just read through all the comments and it seems pretty clear that every time someone says Bordeaux you say ‘YEAH!’ and every time someone says Phoenix you say ‘But, but….’ (Ok, not in those words exactly but that’s the idea). Sounds to me like you’ve made up your mind.
Jennifer Dombrowski says
I think I have and the scales are definitely heavily tipped toward Bordeaux. I think I may just be trying to talk myself out of it to avoid disappointment if the French visa doesn’t come through.
Judy says
Hi Jennifer – I’m trying to decide where to move and came across your blog post. So, my curiosity is getting the best of me. Where did you decide to move – Phoenix, Bordeaux or someplace else?
Jennifer Dombrowski says
Hi Judy,
I moved to Bordeaux – am we’re still here!
We write a monthly update about what it’s like living in Bordeaux. If you’re interested, you can find the archive here: https://luxeadventuretraveler.com/?s=bordeaux+in+365+bottles